How To Make Friends In A Hostel As An Introvert
You booked yourself into a hostel, ready to meet people on your first solo backpacking trip. But then you realize you don’t know how to make friends in a hostel!
If that’s you, you came to the right place!
As I quickly learned on my first solo trip, it is not always enough to simply book a dorm room and wait for friends to come knocking on your door.
While it certainly happens in some types of hostels, party hostels, I am looking at you, in other hostels, you could easily spend a week without talking to anyone!
Making friends in a hostel is the best way to meet people when traveling solo. Yet, it calls for some effort on your side.
If you’re ready to learn the best ways to make friends in a hostel, let’s get started!
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The Best Ways To Make Friends In Hostels
If you’re naturally introverted like I am, making friends is not effortless, especially when traveling solo.
On the other hand, extroverts might think this article is completely useless because there’s nothing easier than striking up a conversation with people around you!
And to that I say, I’m so glad you exist!
On my first solo backpacking trip, extroverts coming up to me were my best bet at making friends.
Before getting into the tips, I want to emphasize how important it is to pick the right type of hostel for meeting people and making friends.
When you read the reviews on Hostelworld choose hostels highly rated for atmosphere.
Here is your step-by-step guide to making friends in a hostel:
1. Say Hello To Your Hostel Roommates
If your hostel doesn’t have a common area, or you’re backpacking Europe in winter when it is low season for many destinations, make friends with your roommates!
When you come to your hostel room, if there are people in the room, greet them.
Yes, it might sound obvious, but many people don’t do it.
A simple hello can lead to a conversation about where you are from, what your travel plans are, and what you want to do in the city.
2. Ask For Recommendations
If there are people in your room, ask them how long they have been in the city and if they have any recommendations.
This question has multiple benefits.
Firstly, you will get first-hand recommendations from people on what to visit, even if you already planned your itinerary.
Secondly, if your hostel roommates just arrived in the city, you can explore it together!
Be genuinely interested in what people are saying. Everybody likes to talk to people who make them feel good.
3. Ask People If Anybody Wants To Join You On A Walk/Dinner
Following on the previous question, ask if anybody would like to join you on a walk or a free walking tour.
If it is late, maybe you’d like to go for dinner, and your hostel roommates can join you.
As an introvert, I know it can be hard being open like this. But the worst thing that can happen is that people say no.
From my experience, most people will say yes to an invitation! And if they say no, you still have your plans.
Don’t take it personally if people are not friendly. You will meet a lot of backpackers on your travels, and you won’t remember most of them next year.
4. Join Organised Hostel Activities
If you’re staying in a social hostel, you can meet so many people just by joining the activities the hostel organizes.
If you see a game night scheduled, show up, and you will have friends in no time – or at least someone to talk to for a night.
Going out for a pub crawl with your hostel group is also the best way to discover nightlife as a solo female traveler.
Some hostels will have family dinners, and joining those assures that you are not dining alone!
If a hostel organizes a free walking tour or a day trip, come along!
Most people joining are also solo travelers looking to meet people and make friends.
I stayed in many hostels in Cambodia and throughout SE Asia that had something going on every day!
5. Hang Out In The Communal Area
If the hostel doesn’t organize activities, you’ll have to put in more effort.
The easiest thing to do is to hang out in the hostel’s communal area and wait for extroverts to come to you – I’m only half joking!
When I feel anxious about making the first move with people who seem like they have known each other for years, I go to the communal area by myself and try to look friendly.
This technique works pretty well for me. If I am sitting alone at a table, somebody will usually join at one point and start a conversation.
6. Look Approachable, and don’t be on your computer
Simply, if you want people to talk to you, you have to look approachable.
How to look approachable?
I’m not sure there is an exact science to this. Yet, if you are checking out a map, eating or just having a drink, chances are somebody will come up to you.
On the other hand, if you are working on your laptop with your headphones on, most people will think you’re busy and just leave you alone.
7. Grab A Drink In A Hostel Bar
Full disclosure, hostels bars are not my favorite for meeting people.
There is something too rigid about an actual bar as opposed to a nice, relaxed common area setting.
However, the first hostel I stayed in when backpacking in SE Asia had some kind of bar and that is how I made my first friends there.
What did I do?
I came up to a group of strangers and asked if I could sit with them.
Truth be told, I walked in and out of the sitting area a couple of times and texted all of my friends about how stressed I was before gathering the courage to do it.
As it turned out, nobody knew each other before. It was a group of people who just met that night since they all decided to grab a drink in the hostel and sit together.
8. Ask A Question That You Think Is Dumb
Hear me out. Meeting people in hostels is like learning a new language – it is essential to start talking. If you are worried you might ask a dumb question, don’t be.
Nobody expects to discuss the meaning of life the first time they talk to someone new. In fact, I find it a bit intrusive to open with a deep topic like that unless tipsy.
The first thing a friend I spent the next two months in SE Asia asked me was: “So, do you speak English?”
I found it hilarious. Like, obviously I speak English, don’t we all? Later she told me she panicked because she couldn’t decide on a question.
But from that moment onwards we didn’t stop talking for an hour and continued to travel together for two months.
All you need is to start.
9. Talk To Hostel Volunteers
Many hostels in Europe and SE Asia have volunteers or staff hired to enhance the social life of the hostel.
Why is it a good idea to befriend hostel volunteers?
The answer is, why not?
Firstly, they are travelers just like you, saving money while traveling by volunteering in exchange for accommodation.
Secondly, they’ve probably been around for a while and have the best tips about the city even better if they are locals!
Thirdly, they are usually very friendly and want to talk to you, help you, and make you feel welcome.
If you’re as lucky as I was, they will remember your name and invite you to join groups and events when you pass through the communal area.
I met some of my best travel friends when they were volunteering in a hostel, and stayed in the same hostel in Bangkok on 3 separate occasions during my 2 month trip.
As a solo female traveler, it was the best feeling knowing that somebody I knew was waiting for me there.
10. Stay In A Party Hostel
If you just can’t seem to make friends in a hostel because your hostel is not social at all, maybe you should go out of your comfort zone and stay in a party hostel.
You’ll find party hostels in most of the best party destinations in Europe and worldwide!
There are different types of hostels, and while it might sound counterintuitive for an introvert to stay in a highly social hostel, you are sure to meet people in party hostels.
Why are party hostels so great for making friends?
Party hostels organize events, and it is their whole selling point. They want you to party and have fun.
Some party hostels will have their staff go out of their way to make you socialize, even when you do not want to. They will go to the rooms to bring people to the common space and group them for games.
I stayed in a hostel where they woke me up to tell me that the party is about to start if I did not want to miss it.
While most hostels don’t have age restrictions, party hostels might have an age limit of 30, 35, or 40 so check before booking!
11. Invite newbies into your group
Finally, once you feel like you’ve made some friends in your hostel, don’t forget how uncomfortable you were at first and ignore new people.
When we’re in a group, everything seems a bit easier, even being extroverted when you’re naturally not.
If you see a new person checking in at the hostel and feeling awkward in the common room, they might also be wondering how to make friends at hostels.
So you should invite them over to join! It will be highly appreciated.
Final Thoughts: How To Make Friends In A Hostel
And there you have it, with these 11 tricks, you know how to make friends in hostels!
It might seem hard at first, and you will probably feel awkward the first couple of times. However, it gets easier the more you do it.
The most important thing to remember about how to meet people in hostels is that everybody feels the same way.
Traveling solo and traveling with friends is so different!
All solo travelers want to make hostel friends but feel awkward making the first step. You will be surprised how nice people are once you start talking to them!
Now that you know how to make friends at a hostel, where are you traveling next?
Backpacking Europe is a popular first solo backpacking trip idea, and it’s a great destination in winter and summer!
